You got in a fight last night?
Yeah! Some dude in the bathroom...he was standing there and I notice he's got the same shirt as me on so I'm like...dude you should have called me, we look like idiots...he didn't say anything...so i got pissed and hit him...completely decimated and my hand was all bloody and covered with glass afterward...weird dude, never saw him again that night or since.
Um...Did this guy happen to look almost exactly like you?
i ate 2 chicken nuggets and puked out 5. that doesn't even make mathematical sense
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
She always acts like she's doing me a favor with a hand job. I've been giving myself hand jobs for almost 20 years.
Dude they are all farmers and I'm pretty sure there's a prostitute here.
please stop yelling "ITS NARNIAAAAAAAAA" out of our window at the lone person walking home in the snow
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I'm hoarding IKEA meatballs in my purse
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I just wanna suck his dick on my balcony ya know
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
it's a rainbow of FUCK YOU
i found a picture from last night of you sat on the floor naked, covered in butter and crying. care to explain?
I was hoping you could tell me..
It was like I was gay for pay but except being gay I became straight and instead of for pay it was for coke.
Also, in case they didn’t tell you… there is a chicken living in your old room… so I would assume cleaning that is now on them
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