She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
so does the 200 for rent and 150 for utilities include the never telling my boyfriend about the guys i bring home.. or is that extra?
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I just saw that cheerleader from u of arkansas that I hooked up with over spring break on espn. My parents would be so proud.
Just sharpening my eyeliner with a butterfly knife. You know. Typical weekday morning.
You pole danced in your parka.
Turns out he has a 6pack too. Alright adorable snapchatting manwhore dude, you win.
You were mean to me and you broke my heart and hurt my feelings. You dont get to talk to me about Peter Dinklage
I mean metaphorically speaking, maybe we've all fucked on top of a frat house at some point in our lives
At 38 I had to open a Snapchat account to communicate with my 21 yr bf. where is my life going.
Fyi - we're going to be eating those sandwiches in bed when you get home.
Never do acid then ask for a blow job while watching 28 Days Later. Heed my advice.
Let's go buy marshmallows and play chubby bunny until we feel alive again
They stopped fighting to partake in M&Ms and porn.
Randomize
