My boobs aren't big enough for this kind of lifestyle
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
Is it weird for a girl to post pictures of her dildo no facebook?
Can't wait to go see my drug dealers baby being born. He rolled all of the "it's a boy" cigars into blunts.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
I wanna get freshman fucked up and do shady things on the last Friday of my youth.
Let's be honest, your relationships fail because the man you're looking for is the equivalent of an intellectual blow-up doll.
Want to go home, so casually slip my underwear in his pocket. Never seen him grin so big and say goodbye to his friends.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
the evidence suggests last night I either took a bath in beer or drank 18 beers while in the bath. either one sounds good to me. sad i don't remember it
I'm sorry but if you can talk well enough to critique his oral game, he clearly needs the pointers.
did you just describe your masturbation session as "rad af??"
Just got an email from match.com trying to match me with My ex..I nearly pissed myself laughing
They think I fractured my spine while doing your cousin on concrete.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
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