Everything went well, until I walked into his bedroom and there was a Ronald Reagan poster watching over his bed - creepy
the biggest problem in our relationship is that im team edward and my boyfriend is team jacob
Definitely saw about 20 people at my final that were never present before. It's like seeing who's gonna be serving me fries in 4 years.
Come on, video tape it. Take one for the team
He told me he finished so fast because he's a sprinter. I hate athletes who are really just pussies.
I have so many hands. So. Many. Hands. I can feel arms that I don't have yet. They tickle. I can see the blood in my eyes. I think something is happening. The hands!!! I'm ticking myself with hands I don't have yet! I can't stop giggling about my notyet hands!
For future reference "bring our litter sisters on our date day" is not such a good idea
on my way to nyc to take a survey about my sexual activity. if you dont hear from me for a few days, assume they had me committed...
I tried snowmobiling at 2 am. I broke my glasses. You're right. Things do get out of control.
I was trying to fart in my sleep in the hopes that he would leave
I couldn't stop laughing at the fact he was cutting lines with a sears card. What 24 year old has a sears card?
You're too young to have this sort of Grizzled Old Drunk In Roadside Bar wisdom.
This morning I woke up in the entrance of a retirement home. Memory fragments from last night: making it rain with the contents of my wallet over the bridge, getting hit by a car, and a lot of running.
Hell no. Last time I used a Slip N Slide I ended up with bruised ribs, a broken fence and the hatred of a half naked girl with a sprained wrist.
dude. i woke up on a random lawn wearing only my boxers, with all my clothes hung in the branches of a nearby tree... no more shrooms
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