I decided you couldn't drive after you asked where the time circuits were on your Altima
I wanted to see November 5, 1985
after the first, "yea you like that baby", i quickly remembered why i had stopped having sex with him.
Thank God. You really dodged a small penis there.
I'm gonna laugh so hard when we're both married with families
That statement alone makes me laugh so hard.
And we hooked up in the carwash. I told you our creative juices were flowing today.
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
THERE ARE SO MANY GREAT DICKS IN THE WORLD. HOW DID I NOT DISCOVER THIS SOONER!?
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
I'll take care of you. Just let me pee on this old white person's car first.
The most adult decision I've mad today was Jameson or Fireball? It's been a successful Day
Also, what day were you thinkin we should trip balls at the children's museum?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Woke up to find my underwear in my purse to only remember I took them off at the airport
Randomize
