just had a super intense, drunken debate about which blink182 member is the most fuckable. i got so mad i left the room. new low.
I was in a gas station that sold tazers and I just saw a billboard that said "Strippers, need we say more?" God I love Georgia!
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
It's like eating cereal and milk but instead of cereal it's gummy bears and instead of milk it's vodka.
I want her autograph on my taint
So was it you or me who decided it was a good idea to inscribe fuck you on the counter?
That was me. Just a 'welcome to our home' kinda thing.
So I'm drinking wine and watching Thumbelina
I'm teaching my cat to play fetch
Yep, it's a friday
nothing like a cross blunt to celebrate the birth of our savior
You know it is an interesting night when the 911 operator calls you
I think people like me is why alcohol became illegal at one point
There something about a girl that pirates lemonade off a restaurant fountain as a mixer that I find intriguing.
I just shit my pants and had a heart attack. Simultaneously. May or may not be related to this game.
I had mdma, weed, and alcohol in my system. My doctor seems to think that's how I tore my groin.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
His 89 y/o father walked in on us. Judging by the gasp/moan, I don't think the 1920s prepared him to see another dude inside his son.
Randomize
