you're bored at work aren't you?
I'm toying with the idea of beating off under my desk
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
Drinking in an igloo changes everything.
he told me he saved a turtle in the middle of the road.. i told him id be over in ten minutes...i mean he deserves a bj after that.
The only thing the cop asked me is..... "how are you still alive"?
There were two girls and a guy on a bed and now i can put porn director on my resume.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
Well I just put wine in my tea
We hooked up and then we watched game of thrones while he fed me chocolate. I don't see how our benafriendship is a bad thing.
I seriously doubt this is the first time pumpkin pie has led to a booty call.
Like seriously, I would not be going if there wasn't pizza
He was awesome with her today. I can't say that it didn't make my Fallopian tubes sing "The Hills Are Alive."
Whose panties are you wearing on your head and why are you sending me pics of it?
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
Randomize
