Done. Eyebrows are waxed, entire body shaved
She’s leaving for college so I made her a gift basket with all the essentials. You know- Ramen, a 12 pack of PBR, some leftover Plan B pills and a laminated business card for a good lawyer. Damn I’m a good big sister.
Is it a bad that I spent my 5 year anniversary with my husband texting my ex boyfriend?
ugh. my soul tastes like vodka
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
The football player sitting in front of me just googled himself. Only 4 articles came up. That's why he plays at Utah State.
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Wash that dress asap. You laid down on the kitchen floor and tried to sweep the floor with your body.
I do have a life. It just consists of making scarves and chesse straws now
Let's try finding a bar where there aren't people who want to hang me from a tree by my nutsack
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Nothing screams "crazy cat lady" like a nursery in your house when you're over 30, single and have no kids.
my near death experience doubled as my sexual awakening
Randomize
