guess who came home with a hottie last night
Def drugged
i didn't know you could wash puke off of bras with a dishwasher.
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At some point we were all eating banana flavored rolling papers.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
How am I supposed to be friends with him when there's an exact replica of his dick in my underwear drawer?
6 pack came off in the shower. Sharpie is not forever.
i would compare it to sliding down a velcro-covered fireman's pole naked. no more bearded men for me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
this could be the second dad I've smoked weed with
I offered to give him "road head" while he played GTA 5. I think he will be more optimistic about date night in the future.
If you bet guys that you can drink them under the table they will pay for your drinks all night until they pass out. I have this down to a science that I think even my dad would appreciate.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
I just wish the first erections of my life didn't take place at a dentists office but hey whatever I turned out alright
Nothing like a near-death experience to start off your Thanksgiving...
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