Where is the hickey?
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
There's always time for handjobs
he texted me at 3am asking for "one of my famous blowjobs"
So I found out me and this guy I was drinking beer with tonight both got lactated on by the same stripper. We're milk brothers.
the best part of college is nobody can tell me not to eat six toaster strudels and jerk off in the shower
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I don't know. Sometimes you can be a wild card with your emotions. Mostly the emotion known as anger.
He told me I was "too flexible." Excuse me?
Just took a shot of 151, rimmned my middle finger in it, lit it on fire and lit a cigarette off it while flicking off my boss. How was your night??
dude where did you go last night?
when the tequila says to run, you start running.
Why didn't we pregame for this?
Because it's breakfast!?!
It baffles me why I still wear white underwear...
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