You can call me Bill Clinton. I brought 2 good looking Asians home last night.
I'm on page 4.
Im on beer infinity
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
WAIT U DIDN'T FEED THE SQUIRREL?
I walked into his room and he was naked with a half eaten pecan pie and a bottle of wine.
im not sure. I kicked him in the ear last night trying to kick a plastic cup off his head to prove I can kick higher than anyone.
I like how I get messages from eharmony at the same time I'm looking for a new vibrator. It's like the powers that be are just trying to make my life ironic.
I ended up passing out on the shitter for like an hour with mcds smoothie all over my face
Let's just say he sent me a picture of his dick and I was more impressed with the collection of video games he had in the background...
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
Dude, it's not gay. It's winter.
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
All I'm sayin is that I don't want to raise anything. Or deal with anything. Or having anything come out of my vagina. I mean, I don't think that's asking too much.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
