Of course we end up in a gay bar... And I have to tell you there are some hot dudes here, should I pass around your Facebook?
That adds atleast one bjs worth of awkward sexual tension between us.
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She texted me and said she was fingering herself. Don't respond to this because she's the perfect girl. I'd love to smell her cell phone after that.
I assume you meant to text someone else on your contact list instead of your own mother...
sometimes i think life is slapping me across the face and laughing, saying "ha ha! you're an adult!"
is it bad that listening to the rabbi's wife talk about how we should only be with one person is making me really, really horny for no string attached sex
wanna hang out tonight and remember it?
GET THE DICK OUT OF YOUR MOUTH AND CHECK FACEBOOK.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
I WANT MY VAGINA TO POUND AT NICE THINGS.
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
I didn't think you wanted your identity stolen along with your dignity. My mistake.
Randomize
