i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I had it in my eyebrows, my bangs, under one eye, and across both cheeks. Congratulations on the successful and elusive warpaint cumshot.
my step dad just called me a drunken slut..someone in my family finally understands me
STOP CALLING ME LADY CHLAMYDIA
She is trying to turtle bite me and when I pull away she says just let it happen. Then she pulled a poptart out of nowhere
He was drinking wine out of a pyrex measuring cup at two in the afternoon and told me my ass looked fantastic in my sweatpants. I love university
Dude, it could be so much worse. That Dale kid lost a toe I think.
I am so excited I do not know how I will sleep.
It's like the Christmas morning of dicks
A guy in the dance floor is raising the roof with an axe in hand. I love Halloween.
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
Showed up 15 minutes late and curtsied when I entered the door if that puts perspective to how my first day is going
Apparently I was telling them, "I AM A STRONG INDEPENDENT WOMAN AND I DON'T NEED YOU TO HOLD MY HAIR," and I pulled my hair back and puked.
FUCK. EVERYONE MAKE MY CONTACT NAME DADDY ISSUES
It was rocky mountain showdown of course we got shitfaced and talked about eating buffaloes
I never thought I'd be judging my neighbors sex lives before age 30 but here we are
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