My head feels like little people r playing bumper cars inside it
he just watched a baby story on tlc while high and just called me screaming he never wants me to get pregnant
then he said we can't have sex anymore because ill hate him.
I told him I was prego. He asked coul we do it without a condom now since I cldn't get any pregnanter. What an a-hole.
Unless you watched your mom's very literal rendition of "I touch myself" while she was wearing a bikini, your vacation wasn't as bad as mine.
It was annoying to wait 4 hour for him to be inside for 5 seconds.
Just jerked off to Cameron Diaz in "My Sister's Keeper". New low.
Um....sorry for hooking up with your brother last night...
Actually i take that back. You dropped the whiskey last night and broke the bottle. Were even
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
I sent dad a photo of my graduation certificate from drug therapy class. It was his birthday so it seemed appropriate.
Although a guy bought me a shot of fireball last wknd and I told him he wouldn't even get half a handjob for that and walked away so don't tell me I don't have standards
you just cant say you love him and then say you want to fuck your boss
he was high. i was rolling face. we were both wearing grateful dead t shirts. at that point it's like we had no choice but to fuck
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
the girl who hid my weed when the cops came has a birthday coming up. i feel like i should get her something.
I just revenge puked in his shoes. This is gonna be a fun night :)
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