I find it funny that "sexual harassment" contains the phrase "ass sex". Let me know what your thoughts are on the matter.
you ever feel like there is a sober person insided you pointing and laughing....?
just looked in the mirror, I fell asleep with a face mask on. At least drunk me cares that much about the condition of my skin
You need to get here now. Before they realize I'm not puerto rican.
She still cant shoot whiskey?
Im having serious doubts about this relationship
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
Oh shut up man. Once the police get involved its every man for themself.
You gave me balls I gave you half a boob. Fair trade
You drunkenly hook up with 5 people in one night and suddenly everyone tries to party with you.
This is the third time my roommate and I have drunkenly hooked up. I'm starting to think she's not as straight as she says she is.
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
He is more interested in finding his sweater than he is in having sex with me. It better be a great fucking sweater.
I'm too high and old for this...
No no no, I want to share him with you. Think of it as me sharing a piece of delicious pie with you. He was THAT GOOD.
I just had a morning three-some with marijuana and a detachable shower-head
Randomize
