So we were sitting in his back seat and he asked me if I practiced giving head. I mean really, who asks that?
spring break forecast: sunny with a chance of shitshow
I don't care how hungover you are were not listening to enya
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Escaped ambulance. Meet me at your apartment.
they drunkenly created an obstacle course for the poor hamster and its ball.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
I woke up with no pants, someone elses shirt, but my new years crown still on. That is dedication.
Was just walking through the park by the river. Saw some random in a tree, we climbed up, blazed with him and bought a bag. In the tree. Real shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
While leaving the bar with another guy I told the bouncer I was sad his friend had a fiancee
You were drinking Everclear weren't you?
Get my husband this drunk again I will rip off your balls off with my bare hands and then cut them up with a dirty axe like fish bits. Do you understand me? DO YOU UNDERSTAND ME?! See you at breakfast, FUCK FACE. I'll shove that bottle of Jamison so far up your ass you'll still be praying in 2020 you can take a shit! Seriously, you make it hard to be your best friend.
I don't know where I keep finding these guys, but mi power bottoms es su power bottoms.
I passed out in your bed last night...there maybe a snickers and twix bar under your pillow
Her dad had just brought down their giant American flag for 4th of July and we fucked on it. I have never been more patriotic
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