did the walk of shame from ex-boyfriend's room only to find other ex-boyfriend sitting in the living room. some people shouldn't be allowed to be friends.
some people shouldn't be allowed to be desperate.
shattered his nose in 8 pieces. Blaming it on the dog. I feel more guilty about ruining the dog's good name than I do about ruining his nose.
hahaha lucky. I'm fishing with some dude I just met when I woke up next to the mohawk river
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
One reason I feel like garbage: Kraft single wine shots
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
He asked me to spit in his mouth. I did. Never let me hook up with this guy again.
He and I are basically the same person, except he has a glorious penis and I have glorious breasts.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
He's talking about me being Slave Princess Leia and how he'll chain me up. I don't have the heart to point out that he would be Jabba in that scenario...Is it bad that his lack of SW knowledge is destroying my lady boner?
You tipped the Uber driver extra for taking your phone away while you were drunk texting
Of course the sales lady was judging you, you bought a pregnancy test, ky jelly, diet pills and a 6 pack of red bull. Even i'm judging you.
Woke up in a house I don't know, with someone else's pants on, and wolverine hair, to my girlfriend yelling on the phone about the 4 girls I made out with last
I opened the bathroom door and the starting point gaurd was eating out my art history professor
Randomize
