Why does Corona taste like a burp?
he cried for an hour, then he threw up on my lap then started singing party in the usa...opera style...
Why would vodka do this to me? I've always been loyal
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
Actually it's really just going to be me drunk in your living room swinging from a pole on a tuesday morning.
You took photos of my underwear around London the day after! THAT was too soon.
I say this as a friend, you would make a SPECTACULAR crossdresser
I just did the walk of shame in monkey slippers in the snow
Teach me the song of your people
I want to be "performing a disservice to society by actually wearing clothes in public" hot.
I'm waiting for your stupid pizza and this 400 lb drunk man is behind me singing the acapella version of Elevation by U2
Does your balding hurt less when a 19 year old holds your hand?
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
So, i might have left my morals back in 2011.
Dude I'm drinking alone and watching cartoons. How is it that someone as hot as me is doing this.
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