My boyfriend cheated on me...what do I do?! :( JK IM BREAKIN UP WIT DAT
Is it possible to make a milkshake in a martini shaker or am I gonna need a blender?
A slipped finger up the butt isn't the end of the world
How dare you send me a picture after midnight that isn't porn. You know the rules.
I'm ashamed of you 12 hours later and 200 miles away
they named it eva bongoria. i had to hit it based on the name alone.
Dude she only counts as your gf if you're home. We both signed the fair game contract when we became roommate. So are you really going to be mad or come eat a waffle with us?
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Pack light, we're going straight to bar from the train. No place to put our shit.
Dude all I'm bringing is my dick and a phone charger.
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
I think our maternal nature is best focused on grown ass men and cats.
Oh hello Jordan's parents, I'm here to have sex with your son. He's in the shower? Oh great, I'll join him
He tried to kiss me in the middle of hooking up... it was a deal breaker. I got off him and left.
So making out with chicks at the bar is fine and dandy, but your booty call can't kiss you? You have the strangest fucking rules...
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Grandma had me open the boxes that were delivered today. She got a sex swing, I've settled on "You go girl" as my official reaction.
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