Kroger has a sale on economy packs of some ridic brand of condom with a smiley devil heart on it $4.99 for 24
Sounds like a baby waitign to happen
after we finished we were both getting water at the kitchen sink...butt naked
so?
then my sister's foreign roommate walked out...in footy pajamas
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
Grilled cheese is the best thing. ever. better than boys, and alcohol, and sex, and chocolate, and money. But not really the last two.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
He moved away. I mourned his dick all of Sunday. I feel a little better now.
Atty had lunch with DA and confirmed I am not the target of the investigation. No word on anything else
it's a "shave your legs in the cvs bathroom" kind of night
Just told my mom sparks is a health drink. Officially getting hammered on the way to the beach.
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Do me a favor. Next time I think it's a good idea to take pulls from the handle, yell "FALCON PUNCH" and uppercut me in the taint. My future liver thanks you.
I plan on drinking enough to kill at least 2 frat boys and make an aa meeting weep for joy
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
Randomize
