We had sex on the first date...do you think he thinks I'm a whore?
Yes and so do I
It was confusing and full of hummus
You asked the officer if he could bring you to the same jail as T.I.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
so i never found you. but i found vodka. so its kinda the same
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can I just have sex with him and then never talk to him? I need him to be the Mr. Miyagi of my sex life.
I have a hunch Mama J got around.
Am I allowed to say that about my own mom?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
The only rule I'm making for myself tonight is to not drink out of the sink at the bar.
Not saying I'm a lesbian. Just saying that every time she walks by I wanna scissor her
Unless your apology includes a 20 something with loose morals and a daddy complex, I'm am not interested
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
