I'm in the mood to be taken advantage of ;-)
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
It's never too late to be topless.
there's no excuse to just assume your pants won't be coming off for some reason or another. that's just irresponsible
You almost hooked up with 200lb woman in her mid-forties, because you were convinced she was adele. Your drinking problem is officially out of control.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
What are you wearing tonight?
The colors of the winddddddd
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I am compiling a playlist that reminds me of all my best sexual encounters. It shall be called THE MUSIC OF MY VAGINA'S PEOPLE
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
We're like a dynamic duo.
Bisexual and Proud, Lesbian and Loud.
got a blowjob in the bar bathroom, got arrested for public intoxication, and found a big bag of weed on the ground on my walk home from the station. my friday night could have been a movie
Killing two birds with one stone tonight: mastrabation meditation. Win win.
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
Its official... I need to stop being so slutty.. the guy I had sex with on friday delivered my jimmy johns tonight.
Randomize
