but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
An eyelash just fell out into my container of rice. Searching for it, i took a single piece of rice out at a time coming to the coclusion that i should not be this high while eating rice.
Well for one thing, she was eating rice with a shot glass.
do you think you could subtly ask him about the dimensions of his penis?
Pre warning. Your not gonna sleep tonight cuz I'm staying with your roommate. Thanks for breaking up with me.
I dont even remember coming home... All my stuff is strewn randomly around my apartment... And I woke up at 5 sitting propped up in my bed with just my arm in a shirt
I haven't found him passed out in the living room covered in noodles for a while now so I guess he's getting better with the drinking.
God and karma are having a fucking field day with my body today.
I just high fived you brother at the bar then immediately realized my hands smell like your vagina
This coke is making my nose hairs dance. That good.
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
Does anyone remember last night? Because I still don't know why I now own a goldfish and a ceiling fan made of pizza?
Randomize
