So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
Just saw a man jogging. For recreation. At 3am. Who's he training to be, batman?
Just found a keg and a mini-bike in our garage, this couldn't possibly go wrong
just found a carrot inside of a baby sock. living with toddlers is like living with tiny hammered people.
Walked into the bar with my burrito and ordered a round of shots for everyone. Not sure if I want to look at the credit card statement.
My clit is not a Gobstopper. Cut it out.
I still have his teeth marks on the base of my penis. You didnt miss much
I'll just save you what dignity you have left by letting what happened die with your lack of memory and/or liver.
He told me that his favorite part about me is hearing my voice while we fuck. I think that was the nicest thing he has EVER said to me.
Take a good hard look at your life. And the number of 18-20 year olds that you have made out with in the last 6 months... and then keep doing whatever the fuck you want.
Would it be totally inappropriate to have his frat and our sorority Teebowing our exit from the abortion clinic?
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
Oh, and one of the worst parts... his name was Mario. I fucked a Nintendo character.
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
There's a pregnant girl taking shots of apple juice
Randomize
