They keep asking what you are doing. I told them to quit calling her "what."
There's a show on bravo about fat people dancing. FAT PEOPLE. DANCING.
This is god's gift to the unemployed.
I made myself breakfast and everything and then whoever's house it actually was came downstairs very upset.
Mmmhmmm sure, nice try, but there's certain wounds that only bj's can heal
well i fell out of the hot tub and tumbled down the hill and kicked a plant in the process.
Penises. Penises everywhereeeeeeeee. Penis ratio is sooo disproportionate. I can't NOT get laid tonight.
i've eaten like 19 popsicles... what the fuck have you done today?
While running home from the bar in high heels I multi- tasked and sexted with Brent. Jesus.
Life isn't about who you kiss, drunk, at midnight. It's who you text nonsense to, sober, from the toilet.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
I've decided that buying my first unused mattress has been my first major step into real adulthood.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
is it bad that I see hot guys I wanna sleep with as challenges instead of actual people?
yes. but it works for you
I'm glad you got documented proof of my stupidity with a head full of nitrous
Hahaha and I'm glad you are doing whip its at a childrens basketball game
I will consider today a failure if my nipple isn't bitten at least 😂
Oh is THAT how we're gonna play mini golf
Randomize
