I'm in your bed right now
Okay meet you there give me 10
Don't think you can make me leave either
Give me ten I ha e to be ******'s wingman I want you
it's taking a lot of effort to be mature and not reply to her with like a video of bestiality porn
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
i just found my sim card.....i hid it in my tylenol bottle....i guess to ensure i would find it mid-hangover
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
you got me arrested i just think that goes without question you owe me a blowjob
I look like a zombie and smell like a stripper. Its gonna be a good day.
I'm glad I get the same reaction from you for cookies and for my naked body
So he's compensating for a really small penis. Either that or he's a drug lord.
Hi I am too sober and out of rum. Translation: I owe you some beer. Also, get better taste in beer.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
Just remembered that I got laid thanks to my glow in the dark Batman belt buckle. Need to wear it more often.
Had a dream last night that we survived the apocalypse. And we celebrated Christmas.
What did I get you?
A 12 gauge and a bottle of vodka that was waist high.
Sounds about right
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
