that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
Cops showed up at 4 am to address a noise complaint and she called them pussies for not doing shots with us.
I started drinking at 10.30am. Ive got a solid buzz, ive decided holidays are to be treated like gamedays
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
after he came i started crying. just to fuck with his head.
I'm sitting by myself in my bra eating a waffle and drinking pineapple rum. gamedaaaayyyyyyy
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I think I found out what we're going be for Halloween....Alcohol poisoning victims.
Wait, you seriously DON'T keep vodka in your backpack??!??!?
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
He has been feeding me cheesecake and candy for breakfast. Naked. For three days. How am I ever going to leave????
Desperate times call for desperate measures. But he promised me no small talk so that was nice
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
It's been three years since Kelly shit in the to go box that we put in Sam's mailbox after we broke up. Considering Sam and I are friends again, should I finally tell him?
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
