dude you need to get laid
me?
no, the other guy who hasn't been laid in 7 months
oh I thought you were talkin about me
wait
I just bought the big bottle of Patron. It looks small. What have I done with my life?
Succeeded.
im at a loss of words.... a stripper is dancing to a Justin Bieber song.
Im beginning to think that if I ever write an autobiography it will have to be mostly fill in the blank.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
I realized it was a bad idea when I broke my collar bone
think they'd let him outta jail for my wedding? we could have him back by like midnight....
Put a customer on hold today while I threw up. If I don't get employee of the month, I'm suing.
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
My favorite part was screaming to all my life by kc and jojo and just horribly failing
I CAN SPEAK THE LANGUAGE OF THE ANIMES.
He was publicly touching my boobs before I even knew he's a famous World Cup skier.... That's how hot he was
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
