I wish i was in the wii world.
found an empty one..2nd door on the right...i'm already naked.
I got fingered by sexual harassment panda last night, by a van, I can't remember if he took off his furry panda hands...
surgery went fine. i cant breath out of my right nostril though. lets not eat peas anymore when we are drunk.
had to go back to that apartment this morning to get my other boot. it was tacked to the wall
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
he quoted the bible to break up with me
Sorry I didn't take you making out with him all night as a hint you wanted nothing to do with him...
It'll just be like "PENIS HERE". In case you get lost.
The door opens out but somehow she managed to kick it in..
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
The world is a different place when I'm actually having sex
Is this what it's like to be an adult? You plan out play dates for your vagina?
He made me watch a sex tape him and his gf made. They were in the shower when her roommate walked in on them. Not kidding: she asked to join in.
I hate him. He gets laid, my dick gets laughed at.
Randomize
