Why is it that every time I type the word "give" my phone spells out HIV?! You know how many people i've told I want to HIV them something!
So I'm at the Chevron by your house. I need a condom and a couch.
Together?
Preferably.
I was scared of Debbie's boobs today. They were all huge and scary looking
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I didn't mean to leave you there I just didn't know him well enough to throw up in his bathroom.
I don't care. I'm going to fuck John's friend and it's all your fault.
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I've come to the conclusion all of your awkward and complicated male encounters could easily be intercepted by a man town Yankee candle and a vibrator. Sleep on that tell me your thoughts in the morning. Sweet dreams.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
Let me be the vehicle for you to live out your slutty half-gay dreams.
How the hell does my fucking boss know about the goddamned magician I fucked?!?
I am now picking what guy I will hang out with based on how many Pokémon they live near.
Randomize