We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
My history teacher just took his shirt off cuz the classroom was to hot. And then he invited us all to join him.
if he wont fuck me on the stairamster then i dont think theres much XXX shit going down
Ive been using palmolive to shower with for he last week, dont tell me about not having money. Im heading to the bar r u going.
In the middle of fucking me, she said "Hold on, I need my Hulk hands."
Its okay I walked into your house, searched for my wallet in your purse, and took a shot of Tequilia all without eye contact, right?
I love our strategizing... I wish we used the same passion for planning our lives and future that we use for planning our drunken escapades... We would both be doctors by now, I swear
I have a scary feeling my mom might switch her goals from finding me a husband in 2012 to sending me to rehab
There seems no grander way to celebrate 420 than to smoke atop a mountain peak.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
Im coming down to miami this weekend
We shall drink from the everclear river
Eredayimstrugglin ..Can we talk about the fact that I just typed "er" and it autocorrected to that. Fuck my life.
Well I just saw a fully naked man doing a headstand in a cooler of ice water.
Randomize
