Wow, t9 really hates the phrase "slap her in her sanctimonious pie-hole."
I wish I could get plan B off e-bay so it would be a secret and cheap.
on the bus. saw a kid get off at a red light, puke on the sidewalk, and get back on.
is it bad that upon arriving to my fourth sex toy party the sex toy lady instantly recognizes me?
tuesday night obama will do an address about the oil spill at 8... it'll only be about 15 minutes... but i think thats plenty of time for a drinking game. key words "oil" "bp" and "responsibility"?
Fuck yes. Let's make bingo cards.
Do you remember that blonde girl he brought home from the bar on Friday night? She didn't leave until Monday afternoon. We didn't even know she was still in his room...what a sketchy weekend.
Slutapocalypse this thursday. Invite every freshieee you hooked up with this semester to my house. Think of it like a meet n greet for them and battle of the sluts for us.
i mean, i stole her boyfriend and beat her snake score on facebook within 48 hours. not her week.
Do ex girlfriends even count for summer sexcapades. Seems like the damage had already been done
Victory lap
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
I've been vomiting all day.
All day? It's 10am.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
We somehow ended up in Oklahoma. Nick's been crapping for two hours and I'm afraid to call a doctor because who the hell knows what sort of stuff goes down in the middle of nowhere. So not a great long weekend really.
Randomize
