Out of all the things I've put my penis in, this seems the most unfortunate.
I feel like you pissing on my ping pong table isn't something to be proud of.
Sorry 4 leaving u in the dumpster last night
I may have just flashed my roommate as he walked in while my towel was falling. Now he knows what an American sized penis looks like I suppose
Don't smoke out front when you get home there's gasoline involved I'll tell you later
We're like Siamese twins, but joined at the genitals.
I'm assuming the reason my elbow is so sore has something to do with all the broken shot glasses eh?
Yep
I woke up to him peeing by our bedroom door. I yelled at him to go to the bathroom and he just kept peeing while he walked there. This is a new low.
I can never have sex in Utah again. The altitude had me breathing like a fat kid going up stairs.
I woke up on the green space outside our dorm cradling a watermelon and sucking my thumb. College is crazy man.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
Did i fall last night when u carried me home.
idk
OHHH yea you fell down the stairs face first
I think I just read the whole internet. Front to back.
I told him I lived in the apartment beside his brother and he said "oh, you're the girl that watches really loud porn!"
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