Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
Is it appropriate to get drunk, stand up at the wedding and make a toast to "the time the lovely bride asked me to come on her chest"?
our generation is not ready to get married
smelt my brothers hands when he got home to see if he lied about smoking again...he didn't lie but i definitely didn't expect to smell some other girls vagina.
I found out why they kept calling her "CD". It was short for "Crab Dip". You're fucked.
WHITE RUSSIAN WEDNESDAY. TELL YOUR CO WORKERS. INVITE QND PREPARE
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
i think dick pics are a sign of a sexual renaissance
I feel like I got run over by a bus full of inebriated Scotsmen on the way to a soccer riot.
Dude I woke up and he was pissing in the corner on his clothes... I called his name an he replied " I got this" and continued.
doing squats while I brush my teeth.. gotta keep the booty in check
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
Currently watching high school football on ESPN. Drink every time they say 'this kid's got potential' or 'look at this kid go' or 'atta kid' We're done for..
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
so all I remember is hig-fiving the cop and then sprinting away. considering I'm not in jail, I count that as a win.
Randomize
