You know what, matt, a girl is not really that interested in a relationship if she goes down on you the first time she meets you
haha my mom just sent us out to go to all of the hair cutting places to ask for hair because deer ate all our zuchini.. and we have to pee in a bucket all day cause deer hate urine. please tell me we are normal?
i cant lie to you.
I just accidentally handed the ticket lady a condom instead of the intended ticket. I am now the official whore of Harry Potter.
I wish i could go to google and type in drug dealers and it would bring up a number, a product and direction
'in an unhealthy relationship' should def be an fb option
Apparently it's poor taste to ask for a break up blow job...in McDonald's. Also, that's not the best way to break the news either.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
It's my first ever "i'm sorry for my excessive drug use" hand turkey. And I think it's pretty boss.
The Deck is crawling with Cougars. Sound the irresponsibility alarm and come drink with me on a Tuesday night.
I feel like an elephant shit on me and left me to be miserable
Look. When I let you cum on my tits don't fuck it all up by going "SKEET SKEET SKEET" it just pisses me off.
I warned you. Don't come crying to me when your vagina refuses to forgive you for this.
It's like sleep walking but with blowjobs
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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