He still wants to giggity, regardless of his girlfriend. So...I guess I'm happy again.
he actually used the line "do you have a map, because i'm lost in your eyes" and i was to drunk to care
it turns out jennifers body is not good to beat off to. yeah its megan fox but when she pukes up blood = goodbye boner
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Always thought my first night in jail would consist of fire and a bunny suit.
i feel like this needs to be a 'lose some teeth' kind of weekend.
he's drinking beer at home in his underwear tonight and if you want to come over the dresscode is underwear only. And you have to bring beer.
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
I haven't been sober in 4 days.
Then be sober
No.
I really should have gone with the man who kept offering me cocaine. Why did I chose the German!? STUPID!
Would you go as one half of Harry and Lloyd in Tuxes to Aaron's wedding?
How was your night?
I spent a lot of money and drank a lot of booze. Also was part of a successful search party
We ate sushi in a hospital bed, then fucked in a bathroom while I wore a gown. Pretty sure she's the one
Driving, getting head and talking to your boss on the phone is not a good combination. I nearly died
Randomize
