I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
Is it sad that I woke up to more "Happy Holidays" texts on 4/20 than I did on Christmas?
dont be like that, i wasnt picking him over you. I was picking multiple orgasms over zoolander.
Let's get one thing straight; we aren't in a relationship. We fuck and occasionally go to subway.
I just want to know what horrible accidents of evolution allowed that tiny penis to exist
A "Tom-vomit" is when you puke but cough as it comes up, so you close you mouth as a natural reaction and the vomit is jet-propelled out your noise.
Wake up we need to beat the walk of shame rush hour
I don't understand or I understand perfect - if were not talking about fried chicken I'm not sure what's happening.
He started going down on me while we were watching Land Before Time.
Incredible.
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
As soon as he came we went to Dairy Queen. That drive through lady was very condescending about our "just fucked" ice cream.
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I can't remember if I puked before or after the shots of absinthe. Or why I thought shots of absinthe was a good idea.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
Randomize
