We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
I'm pretty sure that every show on ABC Family could be turned into a drinking game.
I'm sorry I didn't make it out, I got distracted by sparkley boobies.
oh no you fucking didn't eat my mac and cheese you cunt
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
So I love how we keep introducing our friends to sex toys. It's like pay it forward vibrator edition.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I licked your asshole in confidence.
I hate the cold months. Everybody starts hibernating and I start talking to guys I would never normally talk to. You have a drug habit and no license? Perfect candidate for a boyfriend...
I want to conceive our bastard child on an athletic field. Why can't we make this happen?
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