theres no cameras in the kitchen right? cause i dont wana get fired for peeing in the kitchen in a cup
I told him to show me what he was made of and he came on my face. law students are so technical.
There is so much to learn about oneself from autofill.
Handle of 100 proof captain dressed like a pilgrim here we go
He Facebook stalked his way right into my pants.
Some guy in lab is humming along to a Sara Barrilles song. Or maybe I'm just hearing the song echoing in his huge, gaping vagina.
In other news my cocaine dealer got arrested for heaving some kid out of a fourth story window.
It's like when your main girl and your side girl start having their period in the same week
You are the most depressed sports fan I know
So our trip to Disney World ended in the three of us stripping at a gay club in orlando.
I mean I'm screaming I love the gays in the middle of Bart so yeah
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Nice. The Governor's son bruised my vagina.
That's going to be the title of my memoir.
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
You challenged a dog groomer that she couldn't cut human hair ... How's the shaved head
Got upgraded to First Class and now I’ve got the whole Pacific Ocean to seduce the very hot gentleman sitting next to me!!! Door closing, wish me luck!
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