What do you say about some mid-afternoon anal?
your tears are not going to buy me drinks...
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
took off my bra and popcorn fell out of it. im gonna puke at this wedding...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
My last 2 google image searches were 'a lot of pudding' followed by 'a generous portion of pudding'
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The night went downhill when he took his pants off at our table and walked up to women saying "Special delivery"
Uber driver has left leg up on the dash and turn signal on for about a mile, there's Chipotle wrappers on the floor, but she's hot. 5 stars.
The Game of Thrones convention was just a drunk fuckfest.
Please tell me you banged Jon Snow.
just said thank you to the lady who gave me a body search at the airport
My roommate just woke up to me masturbating in our room. I figured this would happen eventually.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
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