If it wasnt for my iphone and loopt, I would still be wandering the streets in a drunken stooper. Thanks Steve Jobs.
Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
it's a girl!!
That's great, I look forward to meeting her in 18 years
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I'm sober. Being kissed by a chick with a llama puppet. Shoot me now.
Ok. So let me get this straight. She treats her vagina like a clown car, yet judges me for just making out with the guy that bought all of us shots?
You'd be proud! I didn't lose my id this time... It got confiscated
Can I come over? I respect you, but I want disrespectful things to happen
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
He also ordered me a vibrator last week, so the flowers kind of balance it out
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
You ever sit back and realize our friendship is based off us ranting at each other with random animal photos thrown in
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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