why did i make a hit list last night containing only McDonalds?
you tried to order a magarita mcflurry and when they said they didnt make those you tried to call 911
So are you the girl that gave me herpes? or was that the girl from the night before
bad to tell him im pregnant over fbook chat?
there is a strobe light in my taxi. in what way is this safe.
I will start puting down the plastic for the vom in our love chamber. If you want to be something or someone else for the night feel free. The theme is shit show.
I'm there.
we all took turns holding you up and pretending that you were simba and that we were presenting you to the jungle
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
I've never felt more disgusting in my life. And I'm including the time I snuggled that homeless woman in the puddle of my whiskey vomit.
I told you that you should stop drinking and you responded "Thanks for telling me how to live, North Korea!"
Cleaned the whole house at 7:30 and after cleaning the bathroom I think I had cocaine on my sweatpants
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
i like him enough to wash my sheets.. but not enough to finally get that pink lemonade and vodka slushy stain out of my carpet
Sorry, i'm on a strict diet of vodka and regret
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