I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
she said "feliz nobby job" then proceeded to give me a blowjob.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
Well I consider my vagina a dear friend. She treats me good I treat her good. We work together. Glad we could be of service.
You told the cop at mobil to keep it real and look both ways before crossing the street.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
No longer allowed at circus circus apparently fuvking in the elevator is frowned upon.
It's all fun and games until your AARP eligible neighbors end up blacking out in your yard at 5pm with a box of franzia. I'm feeling a great year ahead
I just wrote a love letter to my weed and texted it to my cousin. I can't say it any differently. It happened.
I was figuring I'd break up with her after work, but before Taco Tuesday
found one of my socks in the dishwsaher... xanax
10 shots in she's sitting on the floor using the open dishwasher door as a plate to eat her "life giving" pizza.
Wanna meet at the diner for breakfast? all I've eaten in the past 24 hours is glitter and penis. starvingg.
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