Thats something to write home to mom about
Dear Mom, I had sex last nt w a girl that liked to b choked. Im n love. Cant wait for you to meet her
HOLD UP I think she only has eight fingers...
I never thought that I'd hear someone utter the words, "I need another studded belt." I was wrong.
you went up to their shower, tripped in it, accidentally turned it on and then claimed that you like to "test everyone's showers"
Haha im sorry. Its just financially responsiable to bang him instead of you right now.
i said good morning to each one of his abs personally
Fun fact: female penguins have sex in exchange for pebbles to build nests. I now know what im being for halloween
As if right now I am a humanitarian. Full story to come in the morning. It involves sex.
In other news: I found out that my mom used to fuck my newest fuck buddy's dad when they were in school.
I can't name a single part of my body that isn't sore. Who says break up sex is bad sex?
I have nothing to say other than the obvious 'we probably shouldn't have done that' and the less obvious 'i think you bruised my labia major' ...?
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
I just faked an orgasm while masturbating. Idk what exactly my problem is but I have one
Hey, taking organic chemistry means no one is allowed to tell you you're partying too hard.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Randomize
