I just watched a guy get turned down by a prostitute
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
I just threw up while getting a haircut. I'm never trying to accomplish stuff with a hangover again.
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
the last time i saw him was an hour he was floating face down in a pool... but i'm sure he's fine.
1. my parents still have sex. 2. being a screamer runs in the family. 3. so much so that i can tell what number of orgasms she's on. 4.so looks like i'm stuck outside a while
All I want is a camelback full of Jameson and the weather to be cool enough for me to wear rainbow spandex. Ugh. Pride problems.
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
He said to use 30 racks as chairs and then drink til we fall thru the box
We smoked a bowl in front of the abortion clinic shouting Obama at the protestors.
I specialize in how to hang out and party with randoms after you've hooked up with them. Not in feelings.
He's wearing my bra and eating a breadstick while jumping on our bed.....
I'm just more comfortable with the bondage
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I legit just quacked out loud at a duck on campus. Realized after that there were people around me, they looked at me funny...
Randomize
