Well at one point you put icyhot on your feet because you lost your shoes and it was snowing outside.
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
No, seriously, 1.5 gallons of sangria plus two days of untapped cock. Waiting here. For you.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
you say it like running around in your thong wasted is a bad thing
Since your rent is paid til the first, we decided to use your apartment as the beer pong room. We apologize in advance for losing your security deposit.
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
They showed a guy on tv in a Brady jersey and a sweatpants boner when the NE offense took the field. They didn't show his face. I hope that wasn't you.
Jacob lost his virginity in a threesome. I am deffs fucking this kid.
DURING A THUNDERSTORM ON HIS BIRTHDAY.
I think she's going to be dangerous to drink with, but I'm ready for the adventure.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
not ubering you a puppy
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
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