yeah i was sneaking up to her room and on the way i saw a picture of her and left
I didn't notice until this morning that he had a six inch RAT TAIL...
just smoked a blunt while listening to nsync. i now know what my childhood was missing.
Making jello shots drunk, i apologize ahead of time if they are too strong Can't taste anything.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
dude she got out of bed and definitely took a shit then checked her stomach out in the mirror and whispered "well that probably took off five pounds"
SURVIVAL MODE. WE CAN DO THIS. Celebratory survived-working-christmas-retail sex to follow
I changed my birth control schedule so that I'm on my period while you're gone this week
I don't deserve you.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
Still pimpin that dick in the cornfields. Now it's just transferred to the local bar.
i love it when bitches who pick on you in high school get fat. thank you facebook you have made my day.
This whole having a new phone thing is like starting all over in life with a clean slate! (My old text convos are gone)
New phone new life!
Like Is it appropriate to tell your boss you banged a guy in the back of a truck at a wedding? Probably not.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
my vagina can't handle any more of our 4 day long smash bash. it should be like a holiday or something. should only happen once a year.
Randomize
