Got some. In a truck. I will just pee you in the morning i guess?
Showering in the handicapped shower. Im THAT hungover.
That girl you went home with last night was dressed in a bright blue sweats at the bar. 205lb Smurffete FTL. Boy were you in epic form.
you handled that situation with as much grace as someone puking involuntarily could
while you laid on the ground I poured water into your mouth out of dog bowl some random guy walks by and said now that's what I like to see.
He paid me to blow him while doing a handstand. Does that make me a whore or just a budding gymnast?
theres pictures of him knuckle deep in her, both of them thumbs up and cheesin. someone should take her kid away
Yeah kinda weird. My grandparents are here for dinner and I'm chilling on the couch close to tripping out on pain killers. My pap asked me how works going and I prettymuch drooled on myself as an answer.
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
Literally told everyone you're my idol cause you ate a chicken nugget off a sword
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
you know you’re single when you try to cook yourself a nice pasta dinner but you’re too weak to open the container of sauce and theres no one around to help you
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
She was gone when I unblacked out, but she had nailed her panties to the wall and wrote “Colleen’s Dick”with a sharpie on the wall. No idea where she got a hammer and nail
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