i would punch a child for taco bell
She wouldn't stop telling me the story of the penis and how she got laid.
so...dinner was kid's cuisine and a bottle of wine. i think they go well together.
I wasn't trying to make you feel bad, I just agreed with you that your life does suck.
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
I'm pregaming before our pregaming dinner...with peanut butter and beer. I think I need to re-evaluate my budget...
Just the budget?
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
She only fucks to metal. I don't know whether to marry her or run for the hills.
It was an all night sausage fest and I was the lady of honor.
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
i got pulled over completely sober but looking like death. dick cop made me do a field sobriety test. he also said "no sober person could have 7 BK bags"
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
Upstairs definitely just had sex while I wrote you love poetry. That was a fun experience 🤷🏻♀️
I have a number of responses, ranging in content, tone, and maturity. Choose your destiny...
Randomize
