We're like a lot better than the average bears
I just saw a commercial that said "call your doctor if erections last more than 4 hours". I said "disgusting" and my mom said "I know, i hate when that happens." Get me out of here.
i'm all for saving the environment, but when we get into the shower to fuck, he shouldn't flip his shower hourglass timer
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
He just referred to his foreskin as a snuggie. Help.
Just finished off a roll of paper towels. Celebration blunt?
I don't understand but I'll be there in 5
My absolute favorite part of last night was after I puked in the ally, we rounded the corner and you screamed, "she's ok!" and everyone cheered
You expect me to find someone in two days who I feel comfortable enough with to ask them to get drunk and go play in foam with me?
Agreed. That's like a marriage. For better or worse, till death do us part. I will hold your head over a toilet
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
Honest opinion...too aggressive to bring the funnel out to the bar? Also just so you know im at the bar. with the funnel.
Dear future Eric, sorry about the Everclear. Sincerely, Eric +2 shots E.C.
This week I fucked a police officer and called both the Senators from the state I'm in and the one I'm moving to. What have you done since the election?
it's 1043 pm. still havent changed out of the shirt i wore last night so at this point i figure i'll go for twosies.
Randomize
