just caught grandpa beating off in the living room
Small penises have feelings too.
Don't worry, there is no such thing as a fat, old or ugly blow job.
they're both probably 7 inches? or 8? I'm shoving a ruler in my mouth trying to figure it out
am i gonna have visuals on this?
you are gonna see the trees puking up fireworks and ninja pheonixes will shit rainbows and fire
My cab driver just suggested I brush my teeth because he can smell "the party" on me.
only thing in my fruit bowl is 4 champagne corks and a jenga piece . Tuesday.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I learned a valuable lesson about combining day drinking with malt liquor: you may think you have super powers, but that's just the Steel Reserve talking.
... and this time i WILL NOT make out with anyone dressed as batman.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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