She was so wet my fingers were literally pruney when I got done with her
I swear every time I make the effort to make my hair look nice, someone jizzes in it.
walked into class wearing my zorro costume. some girl just said "oh my god, i fucked zorro this weekend." I found her.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
Also I owe you 20 bucks, a clean towel and a glass of scotch. I'll even throw in a blow job
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
can we just punch him in the dick and call it a victory for feminism
I rubbed his back while he puked for an hour and then ended up getting laid when I tried to put him to bed, best puke and rally I've ever seen.
I kid you not. He let me in into his house, showed me the putt putt in his backyard. Offered to play me.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He held my hair while I gave him a blow job. Now that's teamwork.
I had to explain to an ER nurse that I burned my dick playing onion ring toss today, your social awkwardness hardly compares.
Do you knowhow much it sucks to puke in an automatic toilet? Not fun.
Ew.
It takes talent let's just say that
You're swimming in an imaginary pool of pudding. What do you think?
I was so high last night that at one point I kept licking his neck saying he tasted like soap and truffles.
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