For the millionth time in his career, Brett Favre has screwed over the Vikings
I just saw a kid walk into class with his dad. Fuck his life.
Is it weird that out of everything, Im most worried about chipping a tooth on his prince albert?
It's sad that my net worth at the moment is 4 beers
She wants an explanation of my cousins creepy foot fetish with my god sister. i don't know how I can sum this up in a text.
Also, we accidentally donated a bong to goodwill
Turns out puking in your mask makes it even harder to see out of the mask..
i understand you have values and thats awesome, all i want to help you do is forget about them breifly
No you usually just ranted about the voicemail bitch until she cut you off again
The DJ was throwing glowsticks into the crowd and managed to smack one guy in the face with them
I mean, who doesn't have an ex involved with bath salts?
Yea not today, I ending up taking a shit behind a tree last night.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
i wore just an American flag as my costume-huge success. 20 people pledged allegiance to my ass including a senior frat boy at the keg. God bless America.
Like, when both of your dads are drag queens you're bound to have some amazing Halloween makeup
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