THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I'm going to kill the bastard that switches my hot hookups from the previous night with ugly chicks
chinese tourists just took a picture of me....im pretty sure i heard the bus drive say something about shame.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We left the house and she said "let's go dick hunting" theres no way last night was gonna end up well
The "don't get cum on anything" rule also applies to my furniture and scarves
That's not technology. Doesn't count.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
it's graduation. he's gonna get congratulations slash emotional i cant believe youre leaving me sex.
I sat down next to him and my bra just unhooked itself
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
Currently watching Zombie Sharks while high. This is why I love Shark Week.
Just showered and cleaned every bit of sex off of me cuz i have a feelin my stepmom has jesus powers and would be able to smell it on me
I can't take 'get a man' advice from you. You'll stick your penis in a warm banana peel.
Dude I just woke up with a dog sleeping on me.
I thought you didnt have a dog??
Exactly.
Had a dream last night where I asked you how your Christmas was and your response was, “sex, man. Just lots and lots of sex.â€
Good god. A spell so dry your friends actually commit it to their subconscious!
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