We're pretty sure the 'pocket' aspect of the hot pocket is unnecessary. Testing our theory now.
i totally fed the cab driver fruit salad with my hands while he was driving
Screw this I'm going to go talk to her. If you hear sirens they're for me.
she just convinced the cop to buy us ice-cream sandwiches. best/worst stoned experience ever.
I just took a shower and I feel like 20 pounds of sex just came off of me.
A guy with no shirt on and a eyepatch just got out of the car beside me. After he slammed his door into mine. This is our hometown.
Are you also wondering how we get home after the party bus?
Home?
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Just come get me. Somewhere there's hobo that's going to want his dumpster back, and I kinda want to be gone when he discovers the vomit.
Mike found the condom wrapper on the washing machine and looked at me and said "Magnum? NICE girl. Get that nut!" then proceeded to puke in a cup
This is that think about life weed. Thank god I'm in American lit this semester. I can actually write papers in this vat of introspective stoned.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
no joke- she just sprinkled parmesan cheese into her champagne and slurred "I just need a little snack"
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
I feel bad cuz I was his ride home, but I didn't know I was going to have a religious experience with a guy in a cookie monster t-shirt. You can't plan for that shit.
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