i think the world will end when pigs can fly. think about it, everyone says blah blah when pigs fly. so shit would be going down if they ever can.
oh fuck your right
so when i dont talk to her she talks to herself...idk whats worse
I just watched a woman break three wood planks with her boobs. I don't know how I feel about that
just to let you know, its not cheating if i cant feel my hands.
We both paused during sex to do the clap during the Friends theme song. Soulmates.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
Do you know how disconcerting it is to hear the sound a dog makes while it drinks water and find out that it's someone eating you out?
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I'm going to make "gut the love salmon" a common slang term for sex. Spread the word.
She took the fish and put it in the hot tub, then turned on the jets. She said she was training it for the Olympics.
"He was so not worth staining my backseat for."
His new girl is probably classy and boring. I bet she doesn't feed him sour patch kids while she wiggles his weiner.
I know EXACTLY where things went wrong with her...I didn't use Cheetos as a wooing tool.
I love you. You know I enjoy the constant sex noises
why is half of my head shaved?
Randomize
