She left me with blue balls so I jerked off on her french toast in the morning.
Oh. He liked you.
Then you said "Are you asian?, I didn't know there was Asians in Colorado."
doctor said mango vodka does not count as my daily servings of fruit. damn.
you rubbed the head of my dick and said "I shall call you Squishy and you shall be mine and you shall be my Squishy."
A. What the fuck are period panties? B. Don't ever wear them around me... or bears.
just had to explain to the health center why i wanted 50 condoms a month.
That's fuckin bs. I had the bouncers beat by 30 yards til that dumbshit on the moped stopped in front of me.
still using moms red Christmas cookie plate she sent to cut lines on. not sure I can return with a clear conscious
I need to throw up and die. The order doesn't matter. I feel like shit
I can't stop drooling did you spike my drink?
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just paid my weed guy with a check. I've got this whole adult thing down.
I am eating a fluff-a-nutter sandwich at the gym right now. I brought vodka too.
Dick is dick
Look decision making is not my specialty
Which is why I just spent $33 on a breakfast sandwich coffee and hash browns
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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