Question for you. Are boobs and hands polarly charged, thus causing the inevitable joining of the two. If so are some breasts simply charged backwards
Uh i was pretty wasted sat, so if i was weird it wasnt me. It was just vodka bein weird w my phone
Tonite tequila might call you
Be prepared
Is it sad that the only reason I haven't lapsed into depression is that I'm prettier than her?
Nah, we all need something.
dont ever smoke after you drink again... i dont think ive ever seen...or heard of someone throwing up and farting at the same time. that is, if you were farting.
my roommate just said, "don't look at it, just put it iin your mouth"
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
Sometimes I wonder how different my life would be if I didn't share a weekly margarita with my mom since i was 12
Same here... Well I was planning on having some sort of deep conversation, but looking at how grim of an outlook tomorrow has on you, I'll just re-inform you that I have your pants.
Dude you were so high some kid was kicking the wall and you were convinced it was your heartbeat
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
you were like "guys ... i think i got fingered while dancing tonight"
our poor poor cab driver
URGENT INPUT I'm at a renesance fair after party and I'm 100% lined up to fuck their sword swallower OR their contortionist. Dont say both - which direction doth I roll?
I feel as bad as you right now. I'm about to use one girls car to go see another one
Fuck ya. But normally I drove one girls car picking up a different girl while texting another girl lol
My goal is to be drunk before we even get out of the No Wake Zone.
Randomize
