After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
i told him my stretch marks were scars from a jellyfish sting........he totally bought it
i just saw that homeless guy who dresses like the cat in the hat at the liquor store. i guess he got enough change to have a good weekend. oh the places he'll go
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Come get her ASAP. She's "people bowling," which is just her rolling into random groups of people. People look pissed.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
I want to throw pennies on her stage, or just ripping up a dollor bill and throw them one at a time.
Well we're either getting a bunny or I'm getting you pregnant in about 12 days.
He just pulled out my weave during sex....needless to say I'm embarrassed and in need of another shot pronto
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Never drinking again. Maybe, if our boss gave us more 3-day weekends we would know how to handle ourselves. That was a shit show.
Watching the Walking Dead, snuggled up naked, and drinking a beer. No better way.
If ever there was a tweet to describe your life, it's this.
Can you get snapchat back so I can show you all the places I threw up in/on last night?
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
Hold on, I'm taking nudes in a blanket fort right now
But we made up last night and had unbelievably crazy sex tonight. I legit went blind for like 15mins from him choking me. It was awesome
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