In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
I want to give you a handjob with my mouth.
Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
Wait, how do girls masturbate?
I dunno we use shower heads I guess.
..how does it fit?
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
My niece just called my sister in law a teabagger. I love NPR and it's corrupting influence on small children
Hey Kellie. Me putting. My face intebetaeen ut your boobs made my night
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
'twas the night before moms weekend and all were blacked out. Not a coug was sober not even farm house. I was down to fuck but you were not in sight, so I bid pullmania a sweet goodnight.
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
I RAN OVER A NUN! I RAN OVER A FUCKING NUN! GOD WILL NEVER FORGIVE ME FOR MY SINS NOW!!!
You would be proud of me, I did not take a dab at work today.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Randomize
