I hate the hobo that sits outside our building
Joe or Chris?
do i even wanna kno y u kno their names?
well i came home drunk one night and Chris offered me a beer as i was coming in, it was kinda weird but i wasn't goin to deny a free beer. you're proolly talkin about Joe though, he's the one with the fucked up eye.
Got drunk. Then they sung "we didnt start the fire" to my other cousin who accidentally burnt down the house when she was younger.
Legit I think I might have gotten hepatitis C from licking the window of that last cab.
This girl just swallowed a pealed banana whole. I'm not worthy.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
nothing like having plan b for breakfast in a cvs parking lot before ordering this semester's textbooks
It's an open bar. I'm gonna be gone when you get here.
Text me the address now before you're too drunk to text English.
His brother just asked him in all seriousness if it would be cool if they became eskimo brother brothers.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You can't just say you're dying of terminal cancer everytime they try to card you
I think we can say happy hour is successful when you have frosting and southern comfort in your hair.
People try and tell me I never learn me lesson, well that's a bunch of crap. I asked for Monday off for Superbowl recovery based on my experience last year.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
boys just don't understand what they're missing out on.
he's missing out on my boobs looking marvelous this evening.
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