Can I crash on your couch? I just came home to find my wife giving two guys blowjobs.
Two?
Two.
This row in front of you is like duck, duck, goose - but eating disorder, eating disorder, failed eating disorder
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
WHY DOES GOD HATE MY DICK
you know you've made it when it's your own pool table you're waking up on
You compared your dick to a twizzler. In no way, shape, or form is that a turn on.
I just need you there to slap my dick when im flirting with her
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
He ate me out while I was wearing a tiara.... I think I could get used to this
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
What's the policy on calling guys who have kids daddy...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
My mom has tinder, she is 45 and has her age setting at 18-29. And she still gets more matches than me
Randomize
