I can't get in trouble, i'm smoking a bong in the office right now
ally, we are sitting by a fire and you are totally hot. no pun intended
is it really weird I just got "suckable tits" in my honesty box and I'm flattered??
I just saw a hobo ride by on a unicycle. Good day.
the dr. explained that the first big patch is called a herald patch since it's biggest. So his name is Harold the Patch.
Wow. You named your rash.
I am full of burrito and curiosity
Nicole wore just a belt and her pedometer and hopped on top of me last night. She "walked" 822 steps before we finished.
New charity walk idea!
I don't care that you fucked her. I'm offended that once again, you fucked someone with me in the room because you assumed I was asleep.
Had sex and ran 2.8 miles all before 7:30am. This is going to be a very productive Monday.
nothing like a call from your drunk grandpa at midnight on a wednesday to ask your parents if you're registered to vote...
I find it ironic...the gays are dying to get married & I just want a fucking divorce
Seriously, I woke you up with tacos, I think I deserve the best girlfriend ever award
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
Did I tell you about my dream that I got handed a $100 and my vagina dissolved it? I think it wants me to not be a whore anymore.
Couch. On fire.
Randomize
