apparently they started giving me water shots and i couldnt tell the difference
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
i just realized that fran drescher is the 90's version of a guidette.
I was told to ask you about memoirs of a geisha.
For my 21st birthday, I require a kiddy pool filled with vodka. Make it so.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
All that fucking tequilla made my head feel like it's inside of a body builder's asshole. He's doing squats.
I've shit my pants 4 times in 12 hours... Never trust a fart when u pass 30
Poking every semi-decent guy on Facebook in the hopes that one of them will want to hook up with me tonight. So far all i've accomplished is 5 new poke wars which i will most certainly continue after this weekend.
She's like the King Midas of sexual confusion. Everything she touches turns to gay.
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
I just had to explain to an 70+ year old lady what 'coitus' was. This was not in my job description.
Those thigh tattoos deserve the handsomest of grins between them. Dont settle.
I think all three of us just need to suck it up and go to lunch with him to keep our bar tab down
Was it a bad idea to have spent all of my tax return on coke?
Randomize
