Texts From Last Night

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  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings

  (202): View more from Washington, DC

  But what if he licks everyones ass?

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  (202): So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking... (203): Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings (202): But what if he licks everyones ass? http://tfl.nu/5mfw
  Replies (11) Good night (948) Bad night (1509)
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  (913): View more from Kansas

  your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.

  (1-913): View more from Kansas

  if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.

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  (913): your life is more of a joke than dina lohan. (1-913): if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan. http://tfl.nu/safo
  Replies (7) Good night (807) Bad night (1875)
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  (501): View more from Arkansas

  if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church

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  (501): if i get killed by an online date, its your job to tell my parents that we met at church http://tfl.nu/2izr
  Replies (15) Good night (1964) Bad night (2465)
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  (319): View more from Iowa

  Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota?

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  (319): Packing for the trip... do they take Visa in South Dakota? http://tfl.nu/4k6s
  Replies (48) Good night (1247) Bad night (3496)
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  (207): View more from Maine

  you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand

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  (207): you got thrown out for pissing in a cup in the corner. you told one guy it was okay because you went to college and that he wouldn't understand http://tfl.nu/om9i
  Replies (8) Good night (4789) Bad night (1291)
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  (914): View more from New York

  I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list

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  (914): I just banged that chick from the bar by speaking french. all i had to do was recite my grocery list http://tfl.nu/bjw0
  Replies (18) Good night (5184) Bad night (820)
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  (845): View more from New York

  Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."

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  (845): Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches." http://tfl.nu/j5or
  Replies (5) Good night (2883) Bad night (813)
• Favorite

  (816): View more from Missouri

  I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility

  (910): View more from North Carolina

  well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is...

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  (816): I broke down outside of an all boys correctional facility (910): well if that's not a gay porn waiting to happen, i dont know what is... http://tfl.nu/9yjx
  Replies (5) Good night (1788) Bad night (810)
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  (905): View more from Ontario

  I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward

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  (905): I like that we've become good enough friends again that I can make fun of your penis without it being awkward http://tfl.nu/lq2w
  Replies (18) Good night (1493) Bad night (668)
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  (704): View more from North Carolina

  Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them

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  (704): Just saw Santa sitting on a restaurant patio drinking beer and using his free hand to gesture to cars that he's watching them http://tfl.nu/4k2w
  Replies (5) Good night (1971) Bad night (543)
• Favorite

  (734): View more from Michigan

  I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet

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  (734): I had 17 beers 2 days ago. I'm not dad material yet http://tfl.nu/92s9
  Replies (4) Good night (521) Bad night (516)
• Favorite

  (206): View more from Washington

  Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame"

  (1-206): View more from Washington

  I feel so bad for your roommate

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  (206): Roomie questionaires don't ask any of the important questions like "how do you feel about one night stands" and "will you judge me post-walk of shame" (1-206): I feel so bad for your roommate http://tfl.nu/tybq
  Replies (3) Good night (966) Bad night (346)
• Favorite

  (253): View more from Washington

  Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf

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  (253): Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf http://tfl.nu/ir0h
  Replies (2) Good night (769) Bad night (335)
• Favorite

  (813): View more from Florida

  Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.

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  (813): Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now. http://tfl.nu/4fdt
  Replies (13) Good night (757) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (304): View more from West Virginia

  You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good.

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  (304): You have not lived until you've had your brains fucked out on a broken down Tunnel of Love ride. Life is good. http://tfl.nu/keuc
  Replies (2) Good night (580) Bad night (252)

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