I'm so drunk I cant read cursive anymore.
woke up to moans and hushed"we can't do this with him in here." hope they had a good time
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
25 People Didn’t Realize They Were Talking To Someone Famous
She saved the condom from the first time we did it.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
The fact that when I blacked in you were sober enough to kick me out of your roommates bed makes me question our friendship.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
21 People Tragically Stumbled Upon A Dead Body
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I got your flops too. But yeah you rolled off your raft a bunch of times so we had to ask the white trash squad to help you back on. You bit one of them
Life achievement unlocked: I just ate a Slim Jim "Lady and the Tramp" style with a guy in a bar.
His weed is so good that I don't wanna risk loosing him as my weed man so I plan to keep him in the friend zone 😂