Texts From Last Night

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  (312): View more from Illinois

  Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place?

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  (312): Hey, do you have a beer bong you could drop off at my little brother's place? http://tfl.nu/b6u5
  Replies (1) Good night (2163) Bad night (828)
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  (610): View more from Pennsylvania

  Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry.

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  (610): Jon and Kate. Drink everytime we see tears. Drink twice if a child cries. Finish your bev if you cry. http://tfl.nu/7qgs
  Replies (38) Good night (5387) Bad night (795)
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  (504): View more from Louisiana

  I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed!

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  (504): I don't care if he is my ex... I have the deed to his dick until someone else fucks him. We broke up 2 years ago.... I am still holding that deed! http://tfl.nu/xwtw
  Replies (26) Good night (3716) Bad night (1190)
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  (512): View more from Texas

  I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave.

  (573): View more from Missouri

  Successful day.

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  (512): I just set a weed brownie on fire in the microwave. (573): Successful day. http://tfl.nu/6nom
  Replies (26) Good night (4433) Bad night (1326)
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  (339): View more from Massachusetts

  Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car

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  (339): Paddidles count extra in the back of a cop car http://tfl.nu/oon7
  Replies (29) Good night (4702) Bad night (824)
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  (910): View more from North Carolina

  And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship.

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  (910): And i generally try not to roofie people when I'm in a committed relationship. http://tfl.nu/btcq
  Replies (17) Good night (4666) Bad night (2052)
• Favorite

  (301): View more from Maryland

  I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy

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  (301): I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy http://tfl.nu/508u
  Replies (16) Good night (3953) Bad night (878)
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  (916): View more from California

  Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am.

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  (916): Thanks for pulling me out of the bed by my feet atleast one of us was sober enough to know I had work at 5 am. http://tfl.nu/a8h9
  Replies (3) Good night (1988) Bad night (612)
• Favorite

  (519): View more from Ontario

  You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.

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  (519): You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone. http://tfl.nu/p7fo
  Replies (3) Good night (1404) Bad night (681)
• Favorite

  (706): View more from Georgia

  Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.

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  (706): Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time. http://tfl.nu/63oo
  Replies (3) Good night (1073) Bad night (304)
• Favorite

  (501): View more from Arkansas

  Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick.

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  (501): Oh no. Not her. Her personality clashes with mine in ways that would make me wanna beat myself with a stick. http://tfl.nu/s37k
  Replies (1) Good night (460) Bad night (507)
• Favorite

  (608): View more from Wisconsin

  It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone

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  (608): It's a fucking menopause festival down here at the strike zone http://tfl.nu/08pc
  Replies (1) Good night (340) Bad night (641)
• Favorite

  (203): View more from Connecticut

  At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it.

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  (203): At this point, if I'm not getting fucked by a man in ONLY cowboy boots, it's not worth it. http://tfl.nu/8csz
  Replies (4) Good night (647) Bad night (318)
• Favorite

  (702): View more from Nevada

  I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs.

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  (702): I just quit my job so I could get dick this weekend. I'm pretty sure my need for dick is much more important than the customers' needs. http://tfl.nu/2t39
  Replies (6) Good night (733) Bad night (390)
• Favorite

  (408): View more from California

  Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?

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  (408): Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday? http://tfl.nu/7wzv
  Replies (3) Good night (341) Bad night (650)

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