Texts From Last Night

• Favorite

  (214): View more from Texas

  I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (214): I wish you were here to vomit in your hand. http://tfl.nu/my7z
  Replies (4) Good night (643) Bad night (1917)
• Favorite

  (956): View more from Texas

  around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (956): around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people... http://tfl.nu/4vgn
  Replies (6) Good night (3097) Bad night (1083)
• Favorite

  (440): View more from Ohio

  By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (440): By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas http://tfl.nu/5ruz
  Replies (46) Good night (4849) Bad night (1362)
• Favorite

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH

  (781): View more from Massachusetts

  I love boston

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (781): The cops just drove by on their loudspeaker going DO NOT DRINK THE WATAHH (781): I love boston http://tfl.nu/jz0y
  Replies (37) Good night (8592) Bad night (1095)
• Favorite

  (347): View more from New York

  drinking out of a sandbucket again

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (347): drinking out of a sandbucket again http://tfl.nu/dvop
  Replies (13) Good night (3090) Bad night (1437)
• Favorite

  (856): View more from New Jersey

  there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (856): there's no food at this bar, but i'm pretty sure vodka is made of wheat so i'm basically drinking bread. http://tfl.nu/6f5w
  Replies (28) Good night (4236) Bad night (1428)
• Favorite

  (360): View more from Washington

  My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (360): My 16 year old coworker just told me I should take my job more seriously after she watched me puke in the backroom trash can. Fuck teenagers with morals. http://tfl.nu/t5jb
  Replies (19) Good night (3861) Bad night (891)
• Favorite

  (508): View more from Massachusetts

  if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (508): if I die on the way please explain to my mother that I do not wear fishnets on a regular basis http://tfl.nu/xw63
  Replies (5) Good night (1913) Bad night (582)
• Favorite

  (812): View more from Indiana

  It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (812): It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind. http://tfl.nu/4evb
  Replies (9) Good night (1190) Bad night (767)
• Favorite

  (425): View more from Washington

  Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (425): Now that weed is legalized There needs to be reusable bags for people to pick up with. All this plastic is so bad for the environment and a waste http://tfl.nu/bd6y
  Replies (5) Good night (1468) Bad night (369)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride http://tfl.nu/ym4t
  Replies (3) Good night (1081) Bad night (350)
• Favorite

  (201): View more from New Jersey

  Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting

  (978): View more from Massachusetts

  In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (201): Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting (978): In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you http://tfl.nu/ucjj
  Replies (5) Good night (770) Bad night (515)
• Favorite

  (914): View more from New York

  answer my text you professional douchebag

  (914): View more from New York

  and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (914): answer my text you professional douchebag (914): and i mean that in the cutest, flirtiest way possible http://tfl.nu/dtk0
  Replies (0) Good night (735) Bad night (290)
• Favorite

  (585): View more from New York

  My inner pteradactyl is also confused.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (585): My inner pteradactyl is also confused. http://tfl.nu/ve6u
  Replies (3) Good night (686) Bad night (211)
• Favorite

  (602): View more from Arizona

  So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.

  (505): View more from New Mexico

  The most literal cowgirl position ever.

  Press ctrl+c (windows) or cmd+c (mac) to copy the text to your clipboard

  (602): So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night. (505): The most literal cowgirl position ever. http://tfl.nu/yx0m
  Replies (7) Good night (422) Bad night (246)

Randomize