Phrase i just heard while watching the U.S. open: "Boy they have really trimmed it well, this has got to be the tightest hole in the Open."
That can be our thanksgiving, vodka and cornbread. Just like the pilgrims.
I understand why you refuse to be sober now
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
21 Horribly Evil Pranks To Play On Your Drunk Friends
my mom just emptied my water bottle filled with vodka into the turtle tank.
You could say the cab driver was less than excited when we called his personal cell phone at 4am for directions back to our hotel after having blacked out at the club
You've been drinking wine and eating bacon all afternoon. HOW IS THAT DOING GOOD?!?!
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
Youll thank me when youre dead an dont have a cat eating your face
29 Times Beach Sex Ended With Sand In All The Wrong Places
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
He was chasing Ciroc shots with sips of Captain Morgan... he didn't make it to midnight
I have never paid for drugs and I'm sure not going to start today especially on a holiday
Just test drove the kilt for Justin's wedding. NEVER. WEARING. PANTS. AGAIN.
I wanted one last NYC adventure and I got it. Now I just have to figure out a polite way to wake up the pantless former stripper illegal Russian immigrant street violinist chick currently in a vodka coma in my bed.