He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
yea ive hooked up with like half those guys
and i've hooked up with the other half...when our powers combine, we are captain slutbag
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
Its the Friday before break. There are 20 kids in my 300 person lecture hall. All with the same what the fuck am I doing here look on there face.
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Either way I should probably pregame on the plane
hows a nice way to say "yeah i would go to your dorm, but it's snowing and I know you're not going to blow me, so what's the point"?
We watched 'the mighty ducks' last night and took shots every time someone quacked. I woke up this morning wearing a nothing but a hockey jersey laying next to him on the floor. He was wearing a goalie mask. I really wish I knew what happened.
sex in a ball pit. and I thought ghandi did great things.
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
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FYI, your girlfriend is on her way to the ER. She tried to balance a bottle of jack on her chest. Smashed toes, blood all over patio. Call her, kinda funny though.
I set up her keyboard so that no matter what she does, it will open up RedTube. Click and command Q all you like, its going to porn. No I play the waiting game
I just spent a solid 3 minutes trying to figure out how to send a smell through my phone
but we were going camping. it only made sense to bring the 6 ft bong
I blacked out at work again... Except this time my boss watched me throw up by the bus stop and some woman let me sleep on her shoulder for an hour. Why does this keep happening?
I have an interview tomorrow! The couple we regularly swing with said I could use them as references. Winning