Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
There was no way out of it, seeing as I left my photo ID right next to the vomit.
They poked me and kept screaming "LAUGH DOUGH BOY" it's like 3rd grade all over again.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
We thought we were getting kicked out but then he started tickling the bouncer. Next thing you know the bouncers giving him a piggy back ride to the bar.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
The bed I'm sleeping in has a headboard only handcuffs could love. I'm gonna pick up a local dude and wreck that.
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
Also I feel I should tell you last night when I came home I fell into my laundry hamper and woke up in a pile of my clothes
he threw his shirt and suit jacket out the window of the uber going home
I mean really am I setting up a snapchat when I'm 40 so I can send nudes to my 23 yr old bf? yes, yes I am. Where is my life heading.
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
I'm not in bed, I'm driving and puking at the same time.... first for everything