I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
For future references, orgasms clear sinuses.
I hid my booze in my old Sesame Street lunch box. Big Bird might be disappointed, but I feel Oscar the Grouch would approve.
The bottle I was drinking out of splintered on the bottom, there was glass in my hand, I pulled it out with my teeth... Not the best night for Drunk Kevin
I just had to download an app to edit pictures on my new phone. The things I do for sexting...
You can buy vodka at target here.. Maybe Missouri isn't so bad after all
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I'm also 3/4 on the frats. Its like my goal of traveling to all 7 continents, but different somehow and a lot less morally sound.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
Can we put this graduation on the shelf figuratively and go drink
A place where it's acceptable to show body parts is not a good place for me to be.
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I went to watch porn and there's already 3 Santa videos. Happy November 1st.
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
Ate 5 hotdogs today. You need to get me back on my tequila diet cause this shit has to stop!
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