Never fear I pulled out... she had "lies about taking birth control" written all over her
he's mad because you were 'slandering his penis'.
I just washed champagne and tuna off my body. I feel like that was a successful shower.
Dude you has no fucking this poptart
What?
I dont know to explain this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
Look, I'm just saying... paying ur respects to the neighbors who had a death in the family with food u steal from the neighbors having the cookout may result in a negative karma situation.
We were walking home from Pluckers (read carrying your drunk ass) and out of nowhere you yelled "Say bitch you got a Facebook?" at a random chick walking by.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm not sure New Orleans is real. Even the grocery stores sell vodka.
Thanks for letting me pee on your bed and cry about nothing to you. You're a real friend
All of my friends are talking about changing their lives because they have an alcohol addiction and I'm over here reminding my boss that it's national beer day.
Wtf is this place? I don't see any alcohol and I feel like we were supposed to bring our own strippers.
he's such a nice guy...he deserves a bigger dick.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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