Her vagina felt like a horse was eating an apple out of my hand..
As gay men are we obligated to learn the Single Ladies dance.
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
having sex with him was like banging macgyver. he did the most amazing shit with the simplest things
Throw up on the ground, people dancing to loud Bollywood music, seats literally missing. Fuck I hate public transit
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
Yeah. I stopped her before she flashed the guy for a free slice of pizza. She called me a gentleman and then before I knew it she was in my bed.
my left tit made it into the crop job on your profile pic, I knew it was good for other things
We had a weird moment. Mid-sex he started talking. It went along the lines of "I. FUCKING. LOVE.....this condom..."
can't decide if i look like a hooker or a missing member of Poison today
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
Oh man I knew I took that Molly too soon, talkin to some Scottish people lol but don’t like rollin in pizza restaurants.
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Randomize
